I AM GRIEVING
How do I start to write about what I am going through and the pain that cuts me to the core?
I lost my baby girl, my princess, Junebug (our family cat) 4 days ago... on Thursday, July 29th 2021. We wasn't prepared for this. Then again who is fully ever prepared to let their loved one go? There aren't enough goodbyes anyone can say. Doesn't change what is felt. I wanted to begin to write the day of, then the day after and the next... but I couldn't get myself to do it. But I knew part of my healing comes from sharing my journey. I hope that as I do share, there are others out there relating to what my family and I are going through and if you are, I encourage you to please, share with me. I find comfort in knowing we are not grieving alone.
I plan to focus on writing about her for the entirety of August. But who knows, that may change and either shorten with time or even extend. It all depends. But at least right now, that is my plan.
“Grief is like the ocean; it comes on waves ebbing and flowing. Sometimes the water is calm, and sometimes it is overwhelming. All we can do is learn to swim.” – Vicki Harrison
There will be bits and pieces shared. Sometimes it may get messy and others comical and then others deeply spiritual. I am writing with the natural flow of my experience. There is no right or wrong to the process. What is important? That we do it! Just allow the emotions to arise and fall as they will. Take small steps to walk through and manage life as we mourn. There is healing. I know it. There is peace. It may be different than what we see around us. But it is just what is needed. I need it. And I find it in diving into scripture. Reminding myself of WHO God is and WHAT He has already done for us, especially in my own life.
"And the peace of God, which passes all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus." Philippians 4:7
Since this happened I have felt like giving up. Refusing to go through life without her. My mind and my body literally felt like it was failing. How could I do this? How could I go on? But I am. I take one step after another, at my own pace... at first, everything is slow. I breathe. I walk. I do what I can with what is right in front of me. And I hold on to my faith. There is comfort for each of us if we look to the Word of God. We will find His support, find His strength and find His love holding us up.
"My mind and body may fail; but God is the rock for my mind and my portion forever." Psalm 73:26 (Complete Jewish Bible)
"...He is the anchor of our souls." (Hebrews 6:19)
HER ENTRY INTO OUR LIVES
Image below is the first time I saw her. My son Josh was volunteering for Chesapeake Feline Association; CFA is and all-volunteer, non-profit, no kill feline rescue in North East Maryland. CFA partners with Petco to help adopt out the rescues. Josh was in the process of adopting his first cat. He had his heart set on a disabled, black male cat, it was recommended that we would also adopt his sister.
Then... he met Junebug. The moment SHE saw him, she went right to him as if to say, " You are the one I have been expecting! It's you who is going to bring me home!" Instantly, he changed his mind and fell in love with her.
Later when he came home, he shared his story with me. I told him I would stop by Petco in North East; where she was at temporarily to see if she would get adopted out. Time was of the essence! I walked inside and there she was. She looked sad. Lonely. I took several pictures of her in that visit. Below is one of them.
FIRST MEETING, PETCO NORTH EAST MARYLAND, APRIL 2015
CAMERA TYPE: LG-LG730 SMARTPHONE
It wasn't long after I met her that we did decide to adopt her and bring her home. She changed all our lives forever...
Our animal friends teach us more than we could have expected and love us more than we could have hoped...that's why we miss them more than we could have imagined. Unknown Author
#grief #loss #mourning #family #cat #junebug #beginnings #july2021 #faith #myjourney #quotes #scriptures #chesapeakefelineassociation #petco #northeastmd #vickiharrison #hebrews6 #philippians4 #psalms #thursday #thestartofthisjourney #noaffiliatelink #rescues #adoptarecue #herstory #ourstory #volunteer