Yesterday was one week. One week since Junebug left us.
The day before yesterday I started working again. It wasn’t easy being in the office, but I knew I needed to do it. It is important to get back into a regular routine. Being around familiar faces will help regain focus and step into living again. I have co-workers who can relate with my grief. Listening to their journey encourages me.
But being there was very difficult for me. I was present yet a part of me was so distant. Woody, the office dog, always greets me when I come in. This time he wasn't there to greet me at the door, but within minutes... he found me (at a meeting) went straight to me. In that moment, it was almost instant, he looked into my eyes and started to whimper, as if to cry. He felt something was wrong. He felt my pain. And I started to cry with him. It was a special moment shared between us. I felt connected to him. I miss her so deeply. Animals I believe are intuitive. He brought me comfort.
Yesterday... was a better day. It was the first day I smiled again. I looked at her photo, felt comfort, a sense of happiness and I smiled.
What has helped me in the office is redecorating my space. I have 2 framed photos of my princess and several books related to faith, hope and healing. One small book has bible verses related to topics that are easy to look up; full of God's promises. The past three days I looked at HOPE and below are the verses that spoke to me:
Lamentations 3:21-22 Yet this I call to mind and therefore I have hope: Because of the Lord’s great love we are not consumed, for his compassions never fail.
Isaiah 40:31 - But those who hope in the Lord will renew their strength. They will soar on wings like eagles; they will run and not grow weary; they will walk and not be faint.
I am also finding reflecting on one of the characteristics of God throughout this season of my life, brings security. That is God being a Comforter, my Comforter.
2 Corinthians 1:3-4- Praise be to the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, the Father of compassion and the God of all comfort, who comforts us in all our troubles, so that we can comfort those in any trouble with the comfort we ourselves receive from God.
Day by day my hope is being renewed. My trust becoming increasingly more centered and my faith maturing into something I had not imagined. Even through our darkest days and greatest of pains, even through our longest sufferings and heartbreaks... God is faithful. God is always good. We must choose to believe it. Choose to walk in it.
Yesterday morning and daily I am making a mindful decision. I choose NOT to allow my emotions to control me. YES I am sad. YES I am grieving. But I will choose LIFE. I will choose to still praise God and walk with Him out of my suffering. There is no easy way out of this. I am in a place of acceptance. I hope for you who are also mourning a loved one... that you too can enter that place and experience inner peace.
How are you dealing with the process of grief? What steps are you taking to heal? To walk out your suffering, your loss? I want to hear from you. It does not matter what your beliefs, religious practices, views or culture. Share with me and let us support one another. I am here right with you!
Here is a list of the action steps we/I are doing to help with the process of grief:
1- Join Support Groups related to your loss; there are separate ones for animals; I have found on Social Media.
2- Surround yourself with photos.
3- Reach out for support from close family and friends.
4- Create a place to memorialize your loved one. We have a small antique table in our living room as shown below dedicated to her. My daughter and I set it up on Monday. All that is left to place on the table are her ashes (once we get them back from the Vet) and a plant we are planning on buying for her; Cat Nip, her favorite.
5- A Journal/Book to write in. On the memorial table we also have a journal/book for her. A place to jot down any memories we have of her throughout her life, thoughts that come up and any messages for her. Separate from this book, I purchased one for my daughter to use to write letters to Junebug.
6- Light a candle. In honor of her I kept a candle lit around the clock for 7 days. I plan to light one every month on the anniversary of her death for the first year. Then following, I will light one annually.
7- Memorialize with jewelry. My daughter and I plan to make bracelets for every member of household family.
How ever you choose to go through the process of grieving what matters most is that you find comfort, peace and healing. These are what is helping our family. I would love to hear from you what other ideas you have and are using to cope with your grief.
Remember This: WE NEVER "GET OVER" THE LOSS, WE EVENTUALLY FIND A WAY TO LIVE WITH IT.
When the cat you love becomes a memory, that memory becomes a treasure.
The loss of a cat is immeasurable. But so is the love left behind.
My Desk Area, Visiting Angels, South Elgin IL, August 2021
Junebug's Memorial Table At Home, South Elgin IL, August 2021
